Epilepsy

As you may, or may not know, I have Epilepsy.
(for those who don't know about this disorder you can read about it - here)

It's on my mind today because I have an appointment with my neurologist today.  He is the "best" in the city apparently.  Dr. Michael Jones.  Every time I say his name I think of Indiana Jones.  Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones.  Remember that kid in Temple of Doom?
Anyway, this disorder has haunted me since I was a child.  I was on anti-seizure medication pretty much from the time I was 11 until 16.  I haven't had many major seizures but when it does happen it happens at the worst and sometimes scariest times.  Sometimes, when I look back, each scenario is a bit funny when you stand outside what's happening.
One of the funny times was when I was about 11 and was in church for Easter service.  I told you earlier my dad was a preacher when we were growing up?  So we're in church singing a hymn, probably "As I survey this wondrous cross" or "The old rugged cross" or some other Good Friday "Old Time Hymn", and the world goes into a tunnel and I fall between the pews into a massive epileptic fit.  It wasn't entirely funny but it is kind of funny that it happened in the middle of a church service with my dad on the pulpit.   Luckily one of the people in the congregation was a paramedic and another was our family doctor.
One of the scary times was about 5 years ago when Sweetheart was on tour.  We had just finished the last show of the tour and it was about 3 a.m. and Sam & I were eating "buffalo chicken strips" in Denny's.  With plans to go home the next day.  I told Sam I didn't feel well all of a sudden and got up to go outside for fresh air.   This is when I collapsed in the middle of the restaurant.  It scared me.  I thought I was going to die.  What made it funny was that there was a Doctor on his stag in the restaurant.  He was wearing a pink tutu and a sharpie moustach with a pink extra large foam cowboy hat.  It did make me feel slightly better but at first kinda freaked me out.  Sam and I still joke about not eating Denny's buffalo chicken strips.

So today I'm going to the doctor.  This visit is so I can convince him to let me drive again.  You're probably thinking, "I don't want this guy on my roads!"  Fair enough right?  Well I'll be honest with you I have the mildest form of epilepsy.   I also haven't had a seizure in 3 years.  But.   Usually I'm pretty "fight for your rights" about my driver's license.  I'm also stubborn about taking medication.  I hate it.  Anti-seizure meds make you feel horrible.  The drug's side effects include: Nausea, Anxiety, Extreme Fatigue, Distant Behaiviour, Numbness in the face, etc.  That being said I've lately heard a couple of horror stories about epilepsy and the need to take medication regardless on the severity of your form of the disorder.  It put life in perspective to hear about a friend's co-worker's son died in his sleep because he was alone in his bed and choked on his own vomit.  Or another friend of a friend's son who died in the bath.  Drown because no one was there.   That makes me feel so alone to think about.   And sad.

I feel like I'm rambling a bit but my point with all of this is as you get older views change.  My views on the world have changed drastically in the last few months.  I feel that family is more important then ever and if you ever feel like life isn't worth living, always remember your family.   And they love you.  I'm lucky to have these wonderful people in my life to challenge me and help me grow as an artist and a human.

love,
Marty
@martyzylstra